Women Tell ALL

6 Mar

What is it about the Bachelor that is so captivating?  After 16 seasons and only 1 (one!) marriage, it’s safe to say that we don’t actually watch the show for the love story.  We watch for the drama.  We watch for the crazy.  We watch for lines like, “she’s uglier in person,” and “she has thicker thighs than I do.” And we watch because it’s a guilty pleasure that takes away from the real world for 2 hours, every Monday night.

Last night’s Women Tell All episode was a bloodbath.  It was meant for each woman to get closure. It was their chance to confront each other, confront Ben, and most amazingly, confront Courtney

After weeks of spoiler alerts, tabloids, and last night’s episode, most people believe that it’s true: Ben proposes to Courtney next week.  But that won’t stop us from watching, now will it? I wasn’t completely convinced, and Sassy McFiddlesticks still isn’t, but Courtney said something last night that confirmed the rumors for me. “I care(d?) for Ben.. and I still do!”  It doesn’t look like much of a quote in writing, but if you watched last night’s episode, you know what I’m talking about.  I think Ben picks Courtney, and they’ve already broken up.  How can he not be appalled by watching what the rest of America saw in Courtney?  And why was she even on the show last night? That breaks the traditional rules of Women Tell All!

So who will Ben choose?

Rumor says Courtney, and America will be genuinely disgusted if he chooses her. When Ben thinks of Courtney, he thinks “spirit, energy, nurturing, and one of the most gorgeous women I have ever met.”  She’s also a bitch.  But I have a confession to make.  Courtney has meandered her way in to my heart these past two episodes, and I am ashamed.  Damn she’s manipulative!

Rumors aside, Lindzi is the viewers’ choice! They seem perfect for each other and don’t forget, she got the first impression rose by riding in on a horse.   When Ben thinks of Lindzi, he thinks “beautiful, sexy, firecracker, and everything I could want in a relationship.”

So shouldn’t it be a no-brainer?  He said it himself.. Lindzi has it all.  Courtney is beautiful yes, but also manipulative, self-centered and still quotes Charlie Sheen.  This is exactly why relationships on this show never work.  They’re all on a honeymoon!  

Season’s Superlatives  

Most Pre-mature Goodbye: “best kisser” Jennifer

Most well spoken: “the body” Emily

Most Awkward: “the straddler” Jamie
  

Blogger’s Choice: Brittney – “There was no attraction to Ben whatsoever, and my time was better spent elsewhere.”  BRAVO!

Fan Favorite: “baton twirler” Kacie B.

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One Response to “Women Tell ALL”

  1. Sassy McFiddlesticks March 7, 2012 at 3:55 pm #

    Ooh Sassy looooooove him some Lindzi. Her name looks like hieroglyphics though. Sassy gets dizzy just looking at it. If I were choosing Lindzi, I’d say “Your name is tough to spell! Can I call you Lindsey? Or Lindsay? Or LIN-SANITY?” We’d have a good chuckle. Maybe we’d play basketball. Sassy has some superlatives as well:

    Most likely to turn off a man with a large steel rod: Kacie B.
    Most likely to win melonoma of the year: Jaclyn
    Most likely to have awesome legs: Nicki
    Most likely to have a “butt cut” haircut: BEN.
    Most likely to soup-up their job description to not sound pathetic: Blakely
    Most likely to be an adverb: Blakely
    Most likely to share the same love philosophy as Ashley: Courtney (“I’m a hopeless romantic. Love is my religion. I’m in love with love. All I want is to find the right guy & love him forever.”)

    Ok friends, that’s enough for today. LIN-SANITY, if you read this and you get sent back to Dumpsville (population: YOU!), I hope you can at least take solace that you’re a great Asian basketball player.

    Until next time, keep it *sassy*

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